We keep listening to the opinions of others, we keep reading a lot of motivational books and going to a bunch of personal development seminars. We listen to Spiritual Guides, we repeat daily afformations in front of the mirror (I really don’t do that :))) or pretend that we’ve discovered some kind of spiritual heresy (I tend to do that :))).
We want so badly the positive into our life, the good stuff, the money and the happiness and the right relationships, of course. We are willing to sacrifice so much of our life in regrets of not doing it right or projections about the oncoming glowing future. And we got really confused about the present moment.
Where is it? Is this NOW? Is it happening? Has the NOW just passed? Am I am missing something? Am I missing from my life?
I am thinking about writing an ode poem to the NOW, to the present moment of our lives. Because I think that we are missing something in all this pursue of happiness, that is placed so conveniently into the future, maybe too far away in the future, maybe in Never land.
This a huge trap. If I am not now ready to change, will I ever be? If I cannot make myself to start the change in my life, is Buddha going to do that for me? If don’t acknowledge my power to change, whom do I offer my power to? Who has the power on me then?
I think we should start to honor every moment of our lives, whether it is almost perfect or less acceptable for our Ego. And try to look a little more deeper into this matter of escaping from our life. I am true believer that every situation that seems unbearable is an opportunity to change your perspective on life. Most often than never, we become resilient because of that burden that we used to carry on our shoulders and has become part of us. If we really had to change our lives, we would have to interrogate ourselves:
Who am I when I am not a victim of faith? Who am I am when I am not complaining about my job? Who am I when I am not in a relationship? Who I am when a have a toxic relationship? Who am I?
And we are so afraid of these answers that we keep postponing the moment of change, again and again, far away in the future.
Whose time is that, the future? I for myself cannot acknowledge that the future time is mine. I only have the present moment. NOW is my full responsibility as my personal inner change is my responsibility.
But why does not the change happen for itself? Or why is not sufficient for other people to change me? Even though we want so badly to have a better life, why does not the magic just happen? But the better question would be:
What is the zero-point level of your desire to change?
When do you feel like you had enough of bullshit from your bad perceptions on life, bad habits, toxic people, toxic relationships, negative thoughts, old childhood traumas, past lives?
That is when the shift in perception happens. When you start to question your big fat Ego, the judgement of others, your whole view on life.
Then you can start to build up something constructive. When we remove the old patterns of behaviors and clean up the soul in order to welcome the better things into our life.
The job of changing your life is a NOW job. Change is awareness. Now I can decide what I cannot longer tolerate in my life and decide also how I would like to live my life. Change is a process. But it starts in the NOW and it summons all the nows of my life on condition that I remain fully aware of myself.